Alfred’s Theme - Eminem

Alfred’s Theme LRC歌词

[00:00.000] 作词 : M Mathers/L. Resto/Charles-François Gounod
[00:01.000] 作曲 : M Mathers/L. Resto/Charles-François Gounod
[00:08.782]
[Verse 1]
[00:09.599] Before I check the mic (Check, check, one, two)
[00:10.914] I give it a extra swipe with a Lysol disinfectant wipe (Good evening)
[00:15.018] Coronavirus in effect tonight
[00:16.804] Antiseptics on deck, I got every type (Yeah)
[00:19.335] I throw on my tux, then I (Yeah) give zero f!cks, then I (Yeah)
[00:21.662] Act like a jockstrap (Uh), cup my nuts, then I (Yeah)
[00:24.236] Check my ball hair (What?), make sure it's all there (Yeah)
[00:26.701] Then call the pallbearer (Yeah)
[00:27.976] It's Music to Be Murdered By again, why stop?
[00:30.237] Overkill like a pipe bomb in your pine box
[00:32.607] You're all hitched to my cock (What?)
[00:34.156] Went from punchin' a time clock to getting my shot
[00:36.730] Then treated it like a cyclops
[00:38.574] Like it's the only one I (Only one eye) got
[00:40.096] And my thoughts are like nines cocked (Chk-chk)
[00:41.982] Every line's obscene, pervertedest mind, got the dirtiest rhyme stocked
[00:45.731] That's why there's parental advising (Visine) every time I drop (Eye drop)
[00:48.810] So throw on the theme to Alfred, I'll channel him like the Panama Canal
[00:52.456] But how could I get up in arms about you saying trash is all that I put out?
[00:56.331] B!tch, I still get the bag when I'm putting garbage out
[00:59.053] Plus, the potty mouth, I'm not about to wash it out
[01:01.294] The filthiest, so all this talk about I'm washed up, how preposterous
[01:03.573] Because if cleanliness is next to godliness
[01:05.698] It's obvious that it's impossible for me to be beside myself
[01:08.852] And I'm 'bout that capital like a proper noun
[01:11.401] Still on top the pile
[01:12.516] Got me sitting on numbers like a pocket dial
[01:15.050] Quick to call you out on your bullsh!t
[01:16.914] Don't make me give that crock a dial
[01:18.763] 'Cause if I do it, see you later, alligator
[01:20.808] Made it out the trailer, then I made a vow to cater to no one
[01:23.345] So hate, I've gained about the same amount that's in my bank account
[01:25.971] So here's some more sh!t for you to complain about, I say the
[01:28.271] Bars that never slack (Yeah), but always get attacked (Yeah)
[01:30.696] I think they're gunnin' for me, it's startin' to feel like that
[01:33.146] Like I'm marked, 'cause when I rap, it's like fallin' on my back in a tar pit
[01:36.448] 'Cause I have this target on my back (Ew, yuck)
[01:38.840] But if I ever double-crossed my fans and lost my Stans
[01:41.206] I'd probably pop five Xans (Yeah)
[01:42.865] Go in my garage, start my van
[01:44.815] Inhale as much carbon monoxide and exhaust I can
[01:47.791] And doze off like *snores*
[01:49.345] But odds like that, with these thoughts I have's like a giant getting squashed by ants
[01:53.063] If this is the test of time, I'd pass with flying colors
[01:56.072] Like I just tossed my crayons (Tossed my crayons)
[01:58.189] Small, medium, and large size cans
[02:00.129] Sanitizers of all types, brands, cost nine bands
[02:02.730] Which is a small price for Lysol wipes and
[02:05.004] If my palms brush across my pants, I wash my hands
[02:07.996]
[02:08.135]
[Interlude]
[02:08.141] sh!t, hold on, man
[02:10.517] Motherf!ck
[02:12.812] Happy birthday to—
[02:14.694] f!ck (Shh, quiet)
[02:15.856]
[02:15.965]
[Verse 2]
[02:16.090] I sit in silence in candlelit environments
[02:18.031] Sipping Wild Irish while getting violent
[02:20.381] Homicidal visions when I'm spitting like this
[02:22.482] But really I'm just fulfilling my wish of killing rhymes
[02:25.006] Which is really childish and silly, but I'm really like this
[02:27.634] I'm giving nightmares to Billie Eilish, I'm Diddy's side b!tch
[02:30.475]
[02:30.678]
[Interlude]
[02:30.910] What the f!ck? Hold on, wait
[02:32.241] "I'm Diddy's side b!tch?"
[02:33.254] Oh, I'm still east side, b!tch
[02:35.131]
[02:35.289]
[Verse 3]
[02:35.514] So 'til the E-N-D, since EPMD
[02:37.741] Been givin' y'all the business (Yeah), D-R-E and me (Yup)
[02:40.241] From the MMLP to (Huh?) MTBMB (B!tch)
[02:42.796] B!tch, it's 2020, you still ain't seein' me (Haha)
[02:45.146] So call me Santa Claus (Santa Claus)
[02:46.564] 'Cause at the present (Yeah), I out-rap 'em all (Wrap 'em all), I'm at the mall
[02:50.265] Got your b!tch in a bathroom stall, she could suck a basketball (Uh)
[02:52.687] Through a plastic straw (Yeah) with a fractured jaw (Damn)
[02:55.112] My dick is coat check (Ha), she wanna jack it off (Yeah)
[02:57.537] I'm so far past the bar, I should practice law
[03:00.447] Mentally, I'm f!cked up generally (General Lee) (Duh)
[03:02.541] Dukes of Hazzard car (Yeah), get the cadaver dogs
[03:05.070] 'Cause this is murder, murder and you'll get murked, murked
[03:07.530] This music 'bout to kill you, brr, brr (Brr)
[03:09.971] This chicken hit my phone, she said, "Chirp, chirp"
[03:12.447] I said, "Hut, hut, hike your skirt, skirt"
[03:15.055] Then go eat some worms, like the early bird
[03:17.447] What the f!ck is love? That's a dirty word
[03:19.880] Make me fall in it, there's not a girl on Earth
[03:22.371] Or any other planet, that's a world of hurt
[03:24.856] And I won't buy her designer, 'cause I don't pander (Panda)
[03:27.396] But I'm back with so many knots, I need a chiropractor (Damn)
[03:29.806] And this the final chapter (Why?), 'cause I'm either frying after (Oh)
[03:32.296] Or they gon' give me the needle (What?) like a vinyl scratcher (DJ)
[03:34.829] Yeah, I'm a card, like Hallmark
[03:37.179] At Walmart with a small cart buying wall art
[03:39.728] And y'all who claim to be dogs aren't
[03:41.322] No bite, like a tree, mostly just all bark, arf, arf
[03:44.621] But y'all pickin' the wrong tree, they call me dog because I'm barking (Bar king, bark, bark, barking)
[03:49.623] And I got a lot, yeah, like where cars park
[03:52.048] I'd describe it as bowling (Why?) ball hard (Ball's hard)
[03:54.553] 'Cause the gutter's where my mind is and when
[03:56.483] It's in this frame, better split like the five and the ten
[03:58.896] 'Cause without a second to spare, I'm strikin' again
[04:01.322] And when the beat is up my alley, I go right for the pens (Pins)
[04:04.013] The cypher begins
[04:04.871] I'm talkin' smack like heroin, the mic's a syringe
[04:07.399] It's like a binge, Vicodin, I would liken to tin
[04:09.617] My mind is a recycling bin
[04:11.301] There's no place I never been
[04:12.817] But I never budge and I never bend
[04:14.518] You hyperextend on me, this game's life, it depends
[04:17.201] Like adult diapers for men
[04:18.975] Even when I'm rappin' less stellar
[04:20.544] It's sour grapes, I still whine, I'm the best seller (Cellar)
[04:23.037] Like a trey deuce, spray you as these shots penetrate through Dre's booth
[04:26.321] And go straight through your grapefruit, no escape route
[04:28.526] So you won't leave here just scathed with a few scrape wounds
[04:30.733] Your ass is grass and I am not gonna graze you
[04:33.132] But if bars were semi-mac's, I'd be the Mad Hatter
[04:35.592] 'Cause I got so many caps, and you don't have any straps (Nah)
[04:38.306] So you'd be a fitted (Yeah), so don't act like you fittin' to snap
[04:40.784] B!tch, I'll pee (P) on your head like a Phillies hat (Haha)
[04:43.172] No stoppin' me, you're on a window shopping spree
[04:45.697] B!tch, you probably go broke at the Dollar Tree
[04:48.222] You never buy sh!t, all you ever cop's a plea
[04:50.664] You're always punkin' out like Halloween
[04:53.189] You rather opt to flee, you need to stop it, punk
[04:55.614] Homie, you're not a G, act like you got the pump
[04:58.073] And you're gonna cock the heat or get the Glock and dump
[05:00.597] B!tch, if you shot a tree, you wouldn't pop the trunk
[05:03.123] Yeah, and I'm buddies with Alfred, we about to
[05:06.112] Disembowel them, gut 'em and scalp 'em, yeah
[05:08.437] This is 'bout to be the bloodiest outcome
[05:10.287] 'Cause we gon' make you bleed with every cut from this album
[05:12.762] So I'm choppin' 'em up like Dahmer
[05:14.407] The nut job with the nuts that are bigger than Jabba the Hutt
[05:15.754] I'm in the cut, and I'm out for the blood
[05:17.128] It's lookin' like it's that time of the month
[05:18.464] Carvin' 'em up with the bars while I sharpen 'em up, dog and a mutt
[05:20.622] I'm gonna f!ck your mom in the butt with a thermometer, f!ckin' phenomenal, but
[05:23.171] Y'all will get cut the f!ck up like abdominals if you don't vámonos
[05:25.662] I keep droppin' like dominos, the formidable, abominable
[05:27.971] Stompin' a mudhole in my comp even if it's off the top of the dome
[05:30.238] Son 'em, get the Coppertone, I'm at the Stop and Go coppin' the Mop and Glo
[05:33.068] Got your stomach in knots like you swallowed rope
[05:34.239] You out of pocket though, like a motherf!ckin' wallet stole
[05:36.399]
[05:36.570]
[Outro]
[05:36.860] Wait, why'd the beat cut off?
[05:38.558] F!ck it